This is a very sad week for me as one of my close friends passed away and her services are tonight and tomorrow. It is fair to say that expressing condolence and sympathy is challenging at best. Have you ever wanted to say something to a grieving friend or acquaintance but ultimately just couldn't find the words? (I have found myself in this situation only a few times but both were very difficult and I felt like I did it wrong)
Even for the most eloquent of writers or speakers finding the words to say during these times very difficult. The issue seems to be:
- words feel like a small and almost trivial gesture for such a huge and life-altering event in someone's life;
- how can you be sure to be completely sensitive and not risk offending the bereaved individual/family.
It always helps to remember a few things to neutralize the thoughts that might prevent you from writing a sympathy card or letter. A sympathy letter is meant to show support and love to the family/friends suffering from a loss. It's true that your words can't bring anyone back from the dead, but words can offer support. The world feels like it stops completely for grieving individuals, and it validates their experience when they receive a card or letter that acknowledges this for them. They just need to know it's okay and that their world has in fact been taken off its axis. Chances are that your words will not offend the bereaved if they are well thought out. Sending a sympathy letter and expressing support is always better than not doing so. Moving beyond your own discomfort is the key to finding the words to say to someone. Ultimately -- expressions of sympathy can mean a lot to people experiencing loss.
Hugs, Karen
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